"Look at the limes, how they float.
Next time I’m on a boat and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. Like I’ll be water-skiing without a life preserver, people will say “What the fuck?” and I will pull out a lime. I’m saved by the buoyancy of citrus.”
"If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house.
Well i was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!”
- Mitch Hedberg